I will die if light touches me.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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