Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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