I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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