please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
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