Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
