I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
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