is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
