he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I think I just sharted jello shots
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
