census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I just want nice things and good sex
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
