it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
