im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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