Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.

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  (847): she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick. http://tfl.nu/abnm
  Replies (20) Good night (8003) Bad night (1258)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"

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  (519): Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake" http://tfl.nu/m7yz
  Replies (12) Good night (3253) Bad night (1593)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.

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  (503): I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs. http://tfl.nu/iho1
  Replies (19) Good night (3501) Bad night (995)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you

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  (519): I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you http://tfl.nu/mvu5
  Replies (6) Good night (3004) Bad night (973)
• Favorite

  (+63): View more from

  Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.

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  (+63): Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper. http://tfl.nu/zjj7
  Replies (3) Good night (1773) Bad night (787)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.

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  (917): I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake. http://tfl.nu/yic9
  Replies (24) Good night (1569) Bad night (2816)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..

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  (330): he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder.. http://tfl.nu/5whr
  Replies (23) Good night (1117) Bad night (2178)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?

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  (303): There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain? http://tfl.nu/ibwj
  Replies (7) Good night (1006) Bad night (631)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.

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  (217): Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister. http://tfl.nu/slb6
  Replies (9) Good night (1675) Bad night (532)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."

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  (832): I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung." http://tfl.nu/1h35
  Replies (14) Good night (1859) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (316): View more from Kansas

  Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.

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  (316): Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running. http://tfl.nu/b6k8
  Replies (6) Good night (971) Bad night (470)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.

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  (306): I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck. http://tfl.nu/lhcb
  Replies (0) Good night (625) Bad night (283)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though

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  (314): I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though http://tfl.nu/f0gi
  Replies (1) Good night (506) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all

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  (503): multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all http://tfl.nu/0tag
  Replies (0) Good night (547) Bad night (394)
• Favorite

  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.

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  (306): I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS. http://tfl.nu/r076
  Replies (3) Good night (614) Bad night (301)

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