the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.