Are we in a gay sports bar?
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos