my being single is dangerous.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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