evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
