i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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