I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
