Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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