Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
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