dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
