I cockslap morals
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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