we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
