So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
