bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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