Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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