You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Randomize
