Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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