I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize