Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
