just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
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