I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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