So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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