My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
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