i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
