I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
