Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize