first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
