My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
