Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
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