batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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