I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
These tits shall not be calmed
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
