oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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