Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
