His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
