AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
This is my gift to your gina
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
