She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize