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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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