My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
