Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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