that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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