I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Randomize
