apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
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