I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
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i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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