but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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