Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
