just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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