i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
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