how can u be prego again
wrigley field is MILF paradise
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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