Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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