Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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