that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
