She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Congratulations! We have a period
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
