Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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