my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
