i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
