You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
