suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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