we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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