it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize