Already got asked if we're dating
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I got inside last night via doggy door
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
