yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
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I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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