You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Randomize
