We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
